Toxic positivity can make you sick

In a world that often values productivity over presence and distraction over depth, it’s easy to suppress or avoid uncomfortable emotions. Many of us have been conditioned to “stay positive” or “move on” when faced with sadness, anger, or fear. But as a psychologist, I can assure you, feeling your feelings is one of the most important things you can do for your mental and emotional well-being.

Emotions aren’t random; they serve a purpose. Just as physical pain signals injury or danger, emotions provide valuable information about our inner world and our interactions with others. For example:

• Sadness signals loss and encourages us to seek comfort or reflection.
• Anger alerts us to injustice and can motivate us to set boundaries.
• Fear helps us recognise threats and prepare for challenges.

Ignoring emotions doesn’t make them disappear, instead it often amplifies them in the background, leading to anxiety, depression, or even physical symptoms such as chronic tension or fatigue. When we suppress or avoid emotions, we may experience:

• Increased stress and anxiety, as unprocessed emotions can build up over time.
• A sense of disconnection, both from ourselves and from others.
• Difficulty making decisions, as emotions play a role in guiding our values and priorities.
• Physical symptoms, such as headaches, muscle tension, or digestive issues, due to the mind-body connection.

If you are trying to be "positive" whilst you feel sad, mad, or overwhelmed, that is not positivity, that is emotional suppression, and research supports that emotional suppression is linked to poorer psychological health. On the other hand, emotional awareness and expression are associated with greater resilience and well-being.