When Positivity Hurts: The Hidden Impact of Spiritual Bypassing on Chronic Illness

As a psychologist who works closely with individuals living with chronic health conditions, I see firsthand the emotional and psychological complexities that come with long-term illness such as, grief, frustration, identity shifts, and the daily negotiation between hope and reality.

In these vulnerable spaces, many people encounter well-meaning messages from others,  or from within themselves — that urge them to “stay positive,” “find the lesson,” or believe that everything happens for a reason. These sentiments, though often intended to comfort, can become a subtle form of spiritual bypassing.

​Spiritual bypassing is when spiritual ideas or practices are used to avoid facing emotional pain, unresolved wounds, or uncomfortable realities. It can look like:

• Minimising suffering by saying, “It’s all part of the divine plan.”
• Suppressing anger or sadness because they’re seen as “low vibration.”
• Assuming illness is always a result of poor mindset or lack of spiritual alignment.

While spirituality can be an incredible source of strength, meaning, and resilience, it can become harmful when it invalidates the lived experience of pain. For someone living with a chronic condition, being told (directly or indirectly) "everything happens for a reason", or that they just need to “think positively” to heal, can trigger shame, self-blame, and isolation. These messages can also prevent people from seeking practical support or expressing their true emotional needs which are both essential for psychological well-being.
Healing in all its forms requires space for truth. That includes making room for grief, anger, and uncertainty, alongside hope and meaning.

As a practitioner, I believe it’s possible to honour the spiritual dimension of a person’s journey without bypassing their emotional reality. Holding both can be deeply liberating.